My Lord Loves a Pure Heart – Excerpt 21

Walking on the Siddha Yoga path, I’ve learned that setting up an intention has immense power. It helps to channel the mind’s attention and invoke the divine presence within.
 
I love to set an intention before each recitation of Shri Guru Gita. Without a specific intention to guide it, my recitation can feel like it lacks focus, with countless stopovers for my restless mind. But when I recite it with a specific intention in mind, that allows me to take the reins of the mind into my own hands. I can then remain in the present moment, allowing my mind to resonate in the glory of Shri Guru.
 

I read this passage to my five-year-old son. He smiled a knowing smile and said “Thanks, Gurumayi.” 
 

Gradually, over many years of sadhana, I have become more aware of the kind of thoughts I am having. I see a difference in my state of mind: I experience more serenity and an increased ability to shift sooner from thoughts that make me experience fear or despair to feeling protected and cared for.
 
Last week I had a moment when I felt inadequate and fearful. These moments have become less frequent. However, they do serve as a reminder of how I often used to feel many years ago. They are also a reminder for me of the importance of doing the practices and studying the teachings regularly. 
 
I thank Gurumayi for transforming my mind and my life. 
 

This excerpt was very helpful for me today. I did not have my thoughts and feelings “in check.” At first I felt helpless. Then I remembered the words in this excerpt—they were my saving refuge. “You are in charge. You have the authority…” Aha!
 
I looked for a solution. I decided to leave my space where I felt disturbed by a neighbor and ride my bicycle on this beautiful warm spring day. I stopped at a chapel, prayed, and sent blessings. Out of the blue I had a friendly talk with some people. Back home the disturbance soon stopped.
 
I learned that although I couldn’t change what others do, in this case I could be flexible in what I myself choose to do and thus improve my thoughts and feelings—and have a good time.
 

Recently, my mind was taking great delight in recalling memories of shame, humiliation, and failure. After a few days of this I stood back and spoke to my mind, “Why are you choosing this focus? Why not focus on times of joy, transcendence, and love?”
 
As I asked this, it occurred to me that rather than simply replacing the thoughts in my mind, I could go more deeply into them. When I did this, I could see that the memories and thoughts that superficially seemed contracted were made of the same substance and came from the same place as sweet and generous ones.
 
Thus, I saw this bigger truth: how my thoughts affect me depends on the vantage point from which I observe my mind—and that in choosing this wiser and truer vantage point, I am claiming that authority over my mind that Gurumayi speaks of here.
 

In some cars, we can adjust the air flow so that we don’t breathe the polluted air coming from a traffic jam. Many flowers keep their petals closed when the sun doesn’t shine. Similarly, as I have learned from Gurumayi, I also have the ability to stay away from negativities and to give my mind some respite. During this time, even if it’s short, I can relish my breath, repeat the mantra, remember one teaching of the Guru, and in this way get the inspiration to create benevolent and joyful thoughts for myself.​
 

Gurumayi’s teaching in Excerpt 21 firmly tells me that my behavior, my reaction to external issues, the words I utter, the tone I use, the expressions on my face—all point to what I am holding in my mind! My mind is the culprit, so to speak.
 
Being on the Siddha Yoga path, doing the practices, and being guided by Gurumayi’s teachings have led me over the years to have control over my thoughts, and to be able to stop them from running amok. However, there are still moments when it takes longer for me to take control of my thoughts, and the pain they create persists until I let go and surrender.
 

This excerpt brings me to ask the question, “Who am I that I get to be ‘in charge’ of so much in my daily life?” And contemplating that question peels away layers of thought and ways of being, and places me in the essence of my being.
 

This morning I had a direct experience of preventing my thoughts from “running wild.”
 
When I woke up, I felt very agitated; my heart was pounding strongly and I was trembling all over. Then I told myself, “Meditate!” For perhaps the first time in my life, I did not run away from my fear, but instead asked the Siddhas for courage and sat down to meditate.
 
Almost immediately the trembling turned into energy, and I felt warm air flow across my face and calm my mind. When I came out of meditation, which had lasted longer than I’d realized, I embraced my puja and repeated “Thanks to infinity!” I am so happy that I have found this path to peace.
 

In this excerpt Gurumayi reminds me that I am not at the mercy of outer circumstances, but instead, I have the power to decide which thoughts and feelings I allow in. When I received shaktipat, I experienced an immense gratitude, which is still very strong in me every day. Many times it is this gratitude that helps me maintain composure in the face of adversity.
 

On my way to work I often listen to Gurumayi’s Message Talk for 1999, A Golden Mind, A Golden Life. I love this talk very much because it gives me a lot of practical help in my daily life. So far I have learned that my thoughts shape my attitude and my attitude determines my actions. In turn, my actions define what comes back to me and how I experience the world and other people.